Monday, 6 August 2007

PROJECTED PROFITS !



Resumes of Apostles

To:
Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafter’s Carpenter Shop Nazareth 25922
From:
Jordan Management Consultants

Dear Sir:
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant.
The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them carefully.
As part of our service, we make some general comments for your guidance, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation, and comes without any additional fee.
It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.
Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew had been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau; James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.
One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind, and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious, and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.
We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely,
Jordan Management Consultants








Friday, 3 August 2007

OOOOH THE WEATHER !

THE OUTLOOK IS GOOD - HONEST !
One subject that has occupied the collective Irish psyche lately has been the weather. Now , true to say ‘weather’ is an enduring topic here,often plugging awkward silences in conversation, but this year the talk has been rather more serious and concentrated due to the onslaught of almost two months of heavy rain during our official summer !Day after day dawned to the pit-patter sound of unseasonal precipitation, setting the nation into a downward mood spin and seeing large numbers fleeing to the nearest airports to leave our sodden isle for warmer climes ! However compared to our neighbour Britain we have suffered little,they have endured widespread flooding with thousands of lives severely disrupted - a months rain falling in less than an hour on one occasion. Elsewhere in the world weather patterns have been no less dramatic with heat waves claiming dozens of lives in central Europe.
The environmental experts tell us all these meteorological convulsions are down to ‘climate change’ accelerated by our wanton disregard of ecology in our ever-burgeoning consumer driven lifestyle. I wouldn’t take issue with the ‘experts’,and I think that view is compatible with my own ideas based on my reading of that ancient repository of wisdom, the Bible. A few years ago I was amazed to learn that several large electrical manufacturing companies employed engineers to build into their products an end date for usage,usually just beyond the guarantee period ! And scientists are increasingly convinced that our DNA has within it a programmed number of years for our allotted span ! So why not the Earth itself,perhaps it too has a specified end-date (in fact the Bible argues that it definitely does). In recent years the planet has been rocked as never before by floods…tsunamis…heat waves…earthquakes etc,. Is this the Earth groaning in its declining years,as we inevitably do ourselves with the onset of old age ? The Apostle Paul writing to the Christians at Rome seems to be making this point when he wrote -
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time“.(Romans 8:18-21)
Now admittedly Paul is using the analogy of childbirth ‘groaning’here as he anticipates not only the summation of this planet but also the creation of a new Earth,but that’s another story !
In life we go from the growing pains of childhood to the groaning pains of old age,could our home planet be going through the same aging process, and these severe weather patterns are a kind of globalised arthritic spasm ? One thing the Bible promises for sure is the creation of a new heaven and a new earth,in fact an entirely new world order for those who respond to Jesus invitation to new life -
”Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” (Revelation 21:1-4)

Maybe we should be watching the erratic weather forecasts with an eye to the future, and an eye to our place in Gods scheme of things, ensuring that we have understood His eternal purposes for our lives both here and beyond this life.Jesus one time,when discussing spiritual truths with a sceptical crowd finally said -
… “When you see clouds beginning to form in the west, you say, ‘Here comes a shower.’ And you are right. When the south wind blows, you say, ‘Today will be a scorcher.’ And it is. You fools! You know how to interpret the weather signs of the earth and sky, but you don’t know how to interpret the present times“.(Luke 12:54-56)
We need to be fully awake to all that God may be doing,and be sure of our relationship with Him…at the end of the day nothing else really matters !
Gerard O'Shea

Saturday, 28 July 2007

NOT SO PRETTY POLLY !

OFFENDING PARROT

John received a parrot as a gift. Unfortunately, the parrot had a bad attitude, an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, laced with profanity. John tried to change the parrot's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up he yelled at the parrot. The bird yelled back! John shook the parrot but the bird only got angrier even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked kicked screamed. Then suddenly, there was total silence. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer door.The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms said "I believe I may have offended you with my crude language actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude unforgivable behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued ."May I ask what the turkey did?"

THE THEOLOGY TRAP



Dry Bones


Schismed tokens

Tossed upon the table

Of all doctrinal creeds

Passing for the legalistic currency

Of everyvodys needs.


Trinketing theology

Replace the substance of belief

Every tendered foot-note

Is a quiet nocturnal thief.


We've plundered the bank

Of all that counts above

Replaced the Holy Grail

With a ground-down powdered love.


Gerard O'Shea

Monday, 23 July 2007

TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY


Don't !

Predicting the Future


"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?" -- Bill Gates, 1981



"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949



"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943



"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957



"But what ... is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.



"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977



"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.



"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

Dont !


Predicting the Future



"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?" -- Bill Gates, 1981 "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949



"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943




"But what ... is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.




"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977




"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.




"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

Friday, 20 July 2007

SWEET AND SOUR


I recently came across a yellowing book of poetry by Louis Hemmings on my bookshelf called Seeds, and published in 1977.Louis was back then at the forefront of efforts to encourage evangelical believers to express themselves in artistic forms,and he visited Limerick on a few occasions in the pursuit of same.I’m afraid I lost contact with Louis over the years and I believe he is presently engaged in an online theological bookshop, and probably still writing I presume.If perchance Louis you come across this piece in your web explorations,do stop by and say hello.This poem from Seeds is a particularly powerful one on the most important subject of all-the precious blood of Jesus - GOSh. -


BREAKING OF BREAD

I have often swallowed the broken bread
dry and small, it is hard to swallow
if I fully understand all that you said,
if I eat surely a suffering must follow.


I have often let the wine of the cup,
the rim of the cup, touch my lip,
in my halting hands I hold it up
and slant it slightly so to sip.


Your blood is sometimes sweet, sometimes sour,
it is red, it is raw, it is real,
it was shed for our salvation, for our
hardened hearts, Lord my soul bears your seal.


Louis Hemmings